105 Avenue to Comfort

105 Avenue to Comfort

1. flimsy pretences turning right at bijoy ekattur

16. ঘুম, তিনি প্রতিবিপ্লবী।

18. empty plates: tawa searing noodles+unpeeled potatoes.

21. balcony railings: your thighs lounging before the storming of the bastille

22. purana paltan at a retirement ball for social democrats.

35. plainclothes: he says. i still don’t really believe you.

48. peacock: you tried again. even though the first time was a mess. and the opportunity cost had become stone filled pockets.

81. under the bridge: his pedals kickstarting a stampede after you picked up from the fifth stall from the middle, where he taught you to grow up, fusing recognition, thinning your hair with each carress.

87. zero point an oeuvre of russian literature:
shortcuts for when you say one thing but want to say a thousand

106. 15 January, যেখানে ভয়ের অবসান ঘটে।

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Industries of sorrow 

Industries of sorrow 

Periodically, pension off memories
From assembly-lines,

And shuffle them into greeting cards.

The principal characters of your stories have forgotten their lines,

The audience’s faces have begun to tighten in barely restrained dismay,

The stage hands have all clocked out and de-unionized.

Matte lights bounced off walls,

Painting obscenities along the corridors,

Redeeming friendship coupons.

Jumeirah listed as a deductible on the paycheck.

Lifeguard towers are cozy.

Almost enough to atone the wagon ride.

Not the front door,

Not the Gas station shoplifts,

Not the Construction-site Hand-jobs,

The In-utero tempest.

cortège

cortège

To niti–

 

Ami aye jinish ta niye chinta korchilam–

Tumi keno smellship niye chinta korchi la,

 

Amar jinish ta bujhte, kintu, ektu shomoy lege che,

Ebong hoytoba ami ekhono bujhi ni.

Tao,

Ami chinta korchilam, keno faisal ar tomar modhe kola koli ti eto odbhut bhabe landing korlo.

Tumi abar chinta korla, (mone rekho; bhoy pawar kichu ney–amra still amar mathar bhetorey–) je kola koli tar shate smellship er connection kon jogotte ache.

To, holo.

Chinta koro.

Ami tomake tota pakhi hote shikhabo na.

To.

Smellship.

Keno?

Tumi oi din holud jama porechila, still amar mathar bhitore mom,

Ekhon, amar bolar kotha, tomake khub shundor lagchilo,

Jeta shothik, oboshoi.

Kintu beshi ekta interesting bishoy na.

Ami kintu tomake bole dilam, ami ek sentence theke arek sentence lafai, khub,

abar poreo jai, khub.

Tomar, kono ekta pochondher perfume ache, jerekom amader shobari ache.

To.

Ekhon amar proshno:oi perfume ta ki dhaka lit fest e shikar  korte eshechilo?

Hae, abar, na.

Hae karon, like obviously,

Na, karon tumi shikar korte jano na,

ebong tomar flirting type kotha barta pochondo na,

ekdomi.

jetar mane tomake o keu shamajik bhabe shiker kore na,

-ar oshamajik shikar er nam to biye, oitar bepare pore kotha boli-

besides zarif, kintu oi tao khub ekta interesting bishoy na.

Amar tired lagche.

Abar.

Ekhon.

Abar,

Shob kichu ki smellship ey shuru ebong shesh hoy.

Rafir alcoholic collar,

Or chokher school bag gran,

Abar,

Keno? Karon orao chinta kore,

Kivabe potita ra almas e jay na,

Persona o wallet e chole.

Shikar.

Khacha.

Ami shob shomoy bujtam je khacha victoria secret, ba tomar jeta poshondo, diye ey rong kore,

Kintu na.

Alisha theke shiklam, je ashole sunsilk o ek jhon picasso.

I don’t like this.

Talking about things in this way.

In…terms of prey and hunter..but i can’t look away.

This is how i grew up,

And no matter how many times you say:-

“Tomra orokom bhabe chinta koro na,

ei jonnoi to ami tomader shate ghuri”

I still think like that, Niti.

And you think like you do bcoz

Because,

While i was browsing threads on reddit,

I learned that some old anglo-saxon dude in a kandura said that:

You can do whatever you want,

“But you can’t want whatever you want, and that’s the stuff that really matters,”

And even that was stolen from some anti-semite, whose name no one has a right to pronounce.

And,

Egular shate smellship er connection ki?

Honestly, i don’t know.

Maybe i didn’t want to write about smellship,

And just detoured the conversation to ami jetar bepare lekhte cheye chilam.

Or hoytoba,

You just met someone,doesn’t matter when or where, who smelt really nice, and, wellyou fell for em.

Even through the reverse wind,

You fell for em.

That’s it.

You fell for em,

And it doesn’t matter, how many times you learn to crawl, walk and run, in that order,

You will always fall,

Wiser,

More mature,

Kintu,

matir shate thot legey thake,

Ar amra boro hoi,

abar hat te chikhi

-with love


 

Photograph- From Blue Valentine, cinematography by Andrij Parekh.